A tribute to my greatest idol Chuck Fuckin’ Norris
July 12, 2007Facts about Chuck Fuckin' Norris
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
All comments are moderated. Your comments will not appear here unless approved by the blog owner. Thank you.
